Monday, November 26, 2007


when i had graduated from university my relation with my friends was cutting because i came back to home and became faraway from them, also i increased this cutting by couldn`t answering thier phones , messages and emails.

i don`t know why i didn`t want to keep on touch with them at that moment and place, may be being in another place gaves this feeling that i don`t used to be with them in this place. i used to be with them in that university city not in my home, or may be my transfer to another life which is from studying to working life and tarnsfer to another place.

at that period i didn`t like to call and talk anyone or know thier new news or remember anything when we were togather, may be because remebering such memories would hurt me.

it took from me long time to accept this new life and i thought that i have to forget this people and start making a new friendship with new friends. i found that i can`t living with remebering memories it`s really hard to me just talking to my friends without seeing them in weekend at least or looking to thier way in talking , laughing, crying, eating and being nervous.

today is my friend`s birthday so i remembered when we bought 2 levels of cake and big balloon with panda took place in the balloon WOW it was exciting party no one can forget it. we made alot of birthday`s parties in restaurant, cafes and home. i miss that days anyway i decided to call her and when she was hearing my voice she screamed and said : " wean ya anese hal3`eabe" for honest i couldn`t say that i didn`t want to call you i said: " zorof qatele" so we continued our chatting but without that zeal which had been since years ago.

this is my life and i decide what i want, need, hope and live so no one has the right to blame me or expostulate for my doings. just i don`t want continue with you it was a period from my life that gathers me with you and simply it ended. they have to understand me and being faraway from them.

this is life nothing is permanent.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


ehhh, from the morning i feel upset, angry, disappointed and nothing encourage me to do anything, also i didn`t change my clothes to work so i wear the same cloth i worn the last day and don`t want to write anything. there is no ideas, no words bel3arabi want to kill the first person i see so don`t be that person :).

it`s the weekend and it will has alot of actions alla yesahel:).

Sunday, November 18, 2007


The most bad thing is being with stupied people at work. they don`t have any good dreams for thier future, no plans, no ambition nothing to think more faraway than their nose, and what makes the problem more difficult their believing that they are the best and always they are correct and have a smart idea. when you are discussing they make you feeling you are talking to a rock. simply they are not thinking.

for few minutes i had been in a discussion with my colleague about something stupied. frankly i feel sorry for myself because i decreased from my mind to talk about that subject with that girl. anyway the important thing that i discovered that she can`t recieve any new idea or try something new or want to improve herself in any field in her life. just she is a typical girl do what their parents teach her and now do what her husband want. she is working like a recipient for other`s ideas not all other just from who controls her life and the trouble is that she likes that or she was taught to like that.

i know we have to listen to our parents and who gives us a good advice but this dosen`t prevent us from thinking before accepting anything. i don`t need to like black and white movie because my parents like it or i used to watch it with them. also i don`t need to hate alissa or nansy because they do or i have to be like them or want to have their contentedness.

everyone has a different thumb print, different mind and different personality so we have to ask ourselves why god did create us like that?? is he just want to increase human`s types randomly? isn`t there a wisdom from all of that?

Do you know what these people have another charachters or what do stop thinking make them?

it makes them negative person just drinking, eating and sleeping without any attention to leave their print on the world.

they don`t know when they should talk or be silence.

they are like parasites do`nt know that their stupied way in their life influences in other and causes annoyance for them.

they don`t have any sense or politeness when they are treating with other.

finally when they take something from other they take it in sloven way.

simply they do not and will not have a charisma

رجل الشاشة

عادة ما نرى انجذاب عدد كبير من الناس الى شخص معين بحيث يصبح هذا الشخص رجل الشاشة وربما حديث الساعة ايضا، ويكون ذلك إما لشكل جميل او جاذبية تأسر القلوب كما يقولون أو تسويق جيد لشخص رجل الشاشة او معارف أقوياء ( تزبيط أوضاع كما يقولون

لكن رجل الشاشة الذي سأتحدث عنه ليس كهؤلاء الاشخاص ولا يمت لهم بصلة، وصل الى قلوب الجميع دونما إذن مسبق منهم رغما عنهم وبرضاهم أيضا. وصل بصوته العذب الرقيق وابتسامته الدافئة وشكله العادي ودشداشته وحطته البيضاء النقية ليدخل الى صفاء القلوب والأذهان يمتعها بالكلمات الإلاهية الغائبة عنا التي نقرؤها دونما استشعار لعظمتها، لقد أيقظ فينا التمعن بالمعاني العظيمة لهذه الكلمات البسيطة وعزز فينا الروحانيات والطمأنينة والسكينة لدى سماعها، إنه الشيخ مشاري بن راشد العفاسي

أذكر أول مرة أسمع فيها هذا الصوت العذب كانت منذ ثلاث سنوات عندما كنت أرسم المخططات والرسومات المطلوبة لتسليم المرحلة النهائية من مشروع المرحلة الثانية للفصل الاول في السنة الرابعة، كنت قد اعتدت على سماع موسيق ياني وموزارت في اوقات الليل ( ايام لما يطلع علينا الفجر و احنا لسا نرسم) في ذلك اليوم كنت يائسة من رسوماتي ولم تكن كما أريد ( نفسية زفت كما يقولون) يومها أعطتني صديقتي شريط سورة الكهف بصوته، يالله كم شعرت بالطمأنينة والنشاط يومها، من المؤكد يومها كنت أود أن أبكي وأبكي لكن الوقت لم يسمح آنذاك.

لكل من يعرف ولا يعرف هذا الشيخ الاسطورة ( في نظري) هو مشاري بن راشد بن محمد العفاسي كويتي الجنسية مواليد عام 1976متزوج وله ابنتان ويكنى بــ (( أبي نورا )) ،درس في الجامعة الإسلامية بالمدينة النبوية/ كلية القرآن الكريم والدراسات الإسلامية وتخصص بالقراءات العشر والتفسير ولمزيد من المعلومات تجدونها في الموقع

بصراحة شديدة أقولها لم أكن أحب هذا النوع من المشايخ كانوا يثيرون اشمئزازي للاسف سابق ( ربنا يسامحنا) نظرا لمنظر اللحية المشعثة وامتلاء أجسامهم الى حد النصاحة وتعدد زوجاتهم وكثرة التحريم لكن بعد ذهابي الى العمرة واستماعي الى برامجهم بطريقة عقلانية اكثر وقراءتي أكثر للكتب الدينية تغيرت افكاري 180 درجة كما يقال، اصبحت الدشداشة واللحية ما ادعو له لكن بطريقة عصرية وحضارية افضل من السابق
من الامور التي تجذبني كثيرا لهذا الشيخ هي مخاطبته للشباب العربي واهتمامه به كثيرا وكأنه خلق لتوصيل هذه الرسالة بطريقة عصرية وذكية، فتراه في قناة العفاسي يحاول أن يشد على أيديهم ويقربهم منه وان الانسان مهما فعل من اخطاء فان باب التوبة مفتوح، تشعر وكأنه يخاطبك أنت وحدك من نظرة عينيه وصوته الدافئ ويقول لك انك تستطيع ان تعزز ايمانك وترجع الى الله وتشعر بالساعدة من اعماق قلبك السعادة التي طالما بحثنا عنها واعتقدنا انها موجودة في الحفلات والسهرات والاصدقاء والكوفي شوب او في اي شيئ آخر كنا نعتقده، لكنني وجدت هذه السعادة عندما سمعت صوت هذا الشيخ وعندما تابعت اعماله التي فتحت لي ابوابا كثيرة اعلم أن الدين لا يجسد بشخص لكنه ربما يبدأ بشخص يلهمك ويساعدك الى الطريق الصحيح وبالنسبة لي كان هذا الشخص هو الشيخ مشاري بن راشد العفاسي.

ألا يقولون أن الانسان يوم القيامة يحشر مع من يحب فمن يحب أليسا او وائل كفوري او ريان يحشر مع أحبائه يوم القيامة أما أنا فاني

احب الشيخ مشاري بن راشد العفاسي في الله فعسى أن يحشرني الله معه يوم القيامة

ملا حظة: هذه آخر مرة أكتب فيها بالعربي ( بيغلب على الحاسوب

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

election campaign

theses days jordanian people are busy with choosing the alderman they want. we see the banners and tents are cluttered all over empty areas in the kingdom. also we see the audience in a tent are listening to the alderman speech or talking or eating or doing nothing just sitting like a sculpture, and u can see foods like mansaf is putted on your house door with a picture of the alderman and you just rash the picture and eat mansaf with a big smile:))
all of these doings spread in our lovely kingdom when like these events occur and some of it are good like helping poor people wretches and some are bad like instrumentality spread like a disease or should be every time oh it`s 3:35 pm and my work is finished so i have to go i`ll continue my post tomorrow

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Before i wrote this post i was writing about byelection which happens these days in jordan, but i saw my co-worker while i was writing wearing the same headscarf i wear, and really i had shocked from this sightless copycat. i know i am a big stupied girl in this world and i didn`t learn from the last time when i gave some girl a hand to bye her clothes and headscarves and i told her the shop name and she remunerated me by buying the same clothes and headscarf can u imagine that someone wearning the same t-shirt, trouser, belt and headscarf all of it like a copy paste:) in your university? and now i repeat this dopey situation in my work. usually when i ask someone about nice clothes and where are from i go to the shop and looking for another piece and this happened with me when i saw my friend`s new watch which was 2007 CK , i like the design but when i bought a watch i didn`t buy a CK watch respecting her feelings when she would see it on my hand, so i bought CERRUTTI 1881. ahh this example reminded me when some girl bought the same watch i bought in university ESPRIT and you know how many models there in ESPRIT. i am sick from these people. they don`t respect people`s feelings, they are stupied and can`t use thier minds to think and bye thier own choice.
every one should has his own color, style and concept for his appearance and put his touches in his clothes to be known as a logo to everybody around him.may be i know alot of stupied people and i have to change these people and don`t talk to them.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

لا شيئ

الى حياتي المحبوسة بين أقفاص العبودية
الى روحي التي تنادي الحرية من أقاصي البلاد
الى قلبي المحطم من شظايا القنابل
الى جسدي المعذب بظلم العباد
الى ندى التي تجسد هذه الكلمات شخصها الباكي
اليك اكتب هذه الكلمات
اليك اكتب للاكتفاء الذاتي
فالانفرادية في الطبيعة شذوذ
والازدواجية فيكي مستحيلة
فاخذت الشذوذ لتكملي نفسا واحدة بجسد واحد
تريدين الكتابة والشهرة من غير تعب
تريدين خروج الكلمات دونما تفكير
تريدين الوافر والجاهز لتريحي الاعصابا
كل شيئ تريدينه بلا شيئ
ولا شيئ يأتي بلا شيئ